Like the turning on of the lights in the Town Centre, the sound of carols being played by the Salvation Army band and the sight of Sandra from accounts showing passers-by her bra before collapsing in the gutter barely an hour into the office party, Doctor Who has become part of the rich tapestry of Christmas tradition in this country.
And as with any event that captures the imagination of the Great British public, Snide is there, ready and able, to weave our particular magic and create a range of absurd tat with little relation to the real thing that we can slap the logo onto and charge unsuspecting punters good money for.
Last year we got word early that the Doctor Who special would feature the Titanic and we were able to rush through a special model. It didn't look exactly like the Titanic, but it was realistic in one detail - it sank in water! On top of that we found out that Kylie Minogue was playing a maid and asked our factory to get us some dolls in the appropriate costume. We were a bit surprised that the dolls came back life-size, but they seemed popular anyway. In fact we only had one complaint, a Dad who brought his back saying it had just been a big let down.
The great thing about a concept like Doctor Who is that it really allows us to use our imagination. Anything we can think up, any products we have lying around, any old tosh that we can't shift, we can just bang on a logo, put it in a box with exterminate written somewhere on it and Granny will buy it for little Johnny, because she doesn't know that the Daleks don't move around on hovercrafts and the Slitheen don't drive bin lorries.
On the Twelfth day of Christmas my granny
gave to me;
12 Torchwood Trainsets
11 Martha Motorhomes
10 Slitheen Slippers
9 Trickster Frisbees