Many people are under the misconception that Snide is little local business, some realise we have operations in Asia but few have any idea about the real scale of Snide's global reach. We truly are a worldwide business!
To give a better picture of Snide's multinational operation, this is the first in an irregular series of features on our geo-regional syndicates. So today let's look at Snide's own Warsaw Pact, Snideprom.
As they have in so many business areas, the former Marxist states have managed to turn up a stream of world-class counterfeit entrepreneurs, imbued with an almost incomparable combination of zeal, creativity and cut-throat ruthlessness.
Of course every organisation needs a leader and Snideprom's Oligarch-in-chief is Lubotomir Mekyakidisich Kruschednutz. Hailing originally from the caucus backwater of Shuch, Krushednutz made a name for himself working for the Ministry of Diversions, his reputation based mainly on his invention of the steam-powered penknife and a new variety of cheese substitute made from macerated beetroot, dandruff and donkey sweat.
After the fall of the Soviet Union, Kruschednutz took advantage of the wholesale privatisation of the state 'corrective realities' apparatus, buying a controlling stake and instituting a rolling five-year plan which has seen Snideprom grow exponentially into the counterfeit superpower it is today.
One of Snideprom's true successes has been in wine production in the Ukraine. The target for the year ending 2007 was to have a market share of 25%, but under the stewardship of rising star Andrei Yariba that has been more exceeded with ease. Of course there has been the occasional setback, however those episodes are behind the organisation and we move on, without those who failed us.
One of the satisfying aspects of Kruschnutz's vision is the scale of ambition it shows. For Lubotomir the conventional strategy of fake toys and sportswear does not have the drama. Instead he has continued to pursue a policy of making bold statements. Who but Snideprom would have created a chain of counterfeit filling stations?
And even when the product is small the execution is simply sublime. What's the latest must have gadget? The iPhone? Well who has a beautiful Snide iPhone on the market? Snideprom, of course and as with any project overseen by Kruschednutz the execution is simply magnificent. With a beautifully crafted body and even a flickering Apple logo, yet containing just a couple of watch batteries and a few wires and costing less to produce than a packet of value peanuts, the result is a contender for world-wide product of the year.
Keep an eye out for Snideprom, their products will be coming to a market near you.
Oh, just in case I gave the impression that our eastern partners have a monopoly on creative solutions. Here is our latest training film, highlighting the new 'flexible warranty' approach in customer service introduced by Vince.