It's been quite a week! First we managed to get shot of most of the Doctor Who toys - and those we didn't shift we have rebadged (stuck new stickers on!) as 'Dark Knight' merchandise. Imagine the look on a child's face when he unwraps his birthday present to find a "Joker Radio Controlled Hummer", you couldn't put a price on that! Well we can - it's £5.00, and that includes two of our very special batteries!
More personally, this week I have had to put up with people calling me Nigel - yes NIGEL! It's all down to a new version of that TV ad with Knock-off Nigel. You see the problem is Knock-Off is my name, I've been Knock-Off Nomark for years and then they come along and use my name for their own nefarious means and the end result is people calling me bleeding Nigel! Well it's not on, there should be some protection against people coming along and just ripping off your name like that!
I was explaining this to Bob Bunco and he came up with a cracker of an idea - we had to fight back! At first I thought he meant going round to sort out the purveyors of the reputation-robbing, flutey sockcheese, but then he told me we had to meet like with like and should put out a song of our own. So here it is, an excerpt from my first release on the SnideUK label, Knock-Off Nomark.
The song and the video will be available through the new service Tudor is putting together: SnideTunes. What a great idea that is! People simply register - giving us their e-mail and credit card details - and we then supply them with mp3 versions of songs by artists who sound a bit like the ones they wanted. And as if that wasn't enough, we then e-mail them offering them lots of other things like drugs and diplomas.
The other thing about that Naff-Off Nigel is that he is downloading stuff for free, which was also in the news this week as the music industry announced they were stepping up the fight against downloaders and going to send letters to them. It may surprise you to now I back this totally!
It is scandalous that these people are 'sharing' music - giving it away - total bleeding amateurs! If someone is going to deprive artists of legitimate sales and therefore income, it should be us; we would do it properly and make some money from it.
By the way, If anyone downloads my song without paying, I'll do more than come round and play a flute in their office. When I'm finished with them they'll be playing a flute themselves every time they eat a plate of beans. And as for the next person who calls me Nigel...
Oh, and as my song is so catchy, why don't you record your own version and send it to us. We might even send you some of our dodgy SnideUK tat as a prize.
See you on MTV!
Mickey Nomark
Head of Sales
SnideUK
how much can we buy the single for nigel?
Posted by: gilad | August 11, 2008 at 01:07 PM
i was reacently in manchester and was asked to appear in the knock off nomark add was just wondering were i am as im not in the video
Posted by: stuart tonge | August 02, 2008 at 06:06 PM